Thursday, 19 April 2012

The Great Skycopter Rescue review

Hi! I'm Bersercules, the Berserk Herc! and today I'll be reviewing a movie (yeah yeah I know I normally review TV shows but hey, who really cares!) called The Great Skycopter Rescue! Wow what a fun lovin' adventurey type film this must be!


Here's me with the tape! Yep just another flimsy excuse to put a picture of me in my blog!
So the movie starts off with shot after shot of still pictures of flying machines in sepia tone...

 

Wow! Pink Panther opening credits eat your heart out!


Wow! Screw car chases and explosions! This is where its at! Can you imagine a whole opening sequence of shot after shot of pictures like this! I bet you wish I made this is to a video review!

So after the credits to end all credits end we are then treated to a shot of bikers hanging around in the dark complaining about the national inflation...


Cause if there's one thing bikers hate it's a financial inflation! and that leads to the leader of the bikers making a phone call to another thing bikers hate! A radio DJ!...



... who is... um... wearing an astronaut costume?... what the heck!? Why is he in an astronaut costume?! Is this some kind of weird wacky movie? or is this a subtle joke I don't get?

Anyway the Astronaut/DiscJockey exchanges insults with the Bikers Gang Leader and then the movie turns to the next day where we see a grocery store is having its grand opening with the help of a country music band and the Astronaut DJ!


So they're promoting their grocery stores grand opening with cowboys and astronauts? Geepers! Those are two genres that go great together!

And nothing says food like cowboys and astronauts!

And I get why he's wearing his costume now, its for public appearances, but why was he wearing it last night while on the radio?

So our space cowboy here does his fun DJ talk for the crowd and gets them all exited about the stores opening (wow people in small towns get exited easily!) and then some girls jump up on stage to fawn all over him... small town girls have low standards... small town America here I come!

 
Is he the gangster of love?

And while all that is happening the biker gang is busy planting dynamite under his van. So as the "event" (if you can even call it that) ends our SpaceCowboy/GansterOfLove/RadioDiscJockey leaves the young girls behind and heads off alone to who knows where in his van!

Well the bikers know where, they've set a trap for him! While driving down a road he is waved to the side by a hot girl, who tells him her car is on fire and her "friend" is trapped inside, when he rushes over to the car on fire to help the "friend" the bikers blow up his van and the explosion knocks him into a ditch!

There's most of the movies budget! up in smoke!

The bikers ride off laughing and a guy in a small plane sees the smoke and goes to investigate.

The small, small plane, pilot meets up with our space DJ and they exchange silly banter and stupid insults in standard buddy comedy fashion, oh cool! They're like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid! But with a space motif!

Snoop Flyskey and the Dumbass Kid: In Space!

Anyway our bland-namic duo quickly becomes friends as the pilot asks the spaceman back to his place for some beer!

The SpaceMan Jim agrees and they fly off in his plane!


Back to his place...


... which is full of empty beer cans......


... where they sit on a couch and drink beer.

So as they sit and drink and share their life stories! we find out that the small guy is a self employed plane maker, who owns an airfield, and through visual cues we see that he is as much an avid drinker as he is an avid flier!

Our DJ SpaceMan then heads back to his radio show and


... um, so is he just always wearing that space suit? What the heck?! This is the second time he's been DJing with the outfit on! Whats the point of a gimmick like that if your on the radio?

Whats next? a guy dressed as a superhero called "Electric Weany"?



... 


... 


...


...


yes!



and now a radio host dressed up as a superhero!... they know its just radio and not TV right?

They know people can't see them when they're on the air right? and they could just pretend they're in those costumes and no one would know? Right? They know that right?

Geepers who else is gonna be in this film?

The professor?!! What the heck?!

How'd he get off the island!?!

Make me a skycopter out of coconuts please!

And now back to our heroes who are sitting on a couch drinking beer... again...

and one of them is shirtless...

Where is this going?

The shirtless man then makes his new friend an offer to join him in his skycopter business and to move into his house with him so they can both work and live together and the Space DJ agrees!

When are these two just gonna admit it and get out of the closet?

Anyway they then try out our mini pilots knew invention, the skycopter, as we're treated to a long drawn out shot of them flying around in it.

The scene is like this picture... 
if you were to stare at it for minutes at a time.

So then SpaceMan Dink borrows flyboys car and drives to the radio station and quits his secure well paying job as a radio disc jockey to become a skycopter pilot for some yokel who makes his own planes.

Every mans dreams!

And as he drives back to his new residence he is attacked by the bike gang as they pelt his car with chains!

ahh remember the days when biker gangs had 
nothing better to do then to hassle disc jockeys!

So with the bikers assault over he goes to his new place and chats with his friend on the couch awhile


and then they go out and fly around

ahh what great angles they have for this movie!

and now with their flying done they go back to the couch


Fly, couch, fly, couch! Geepers! if they had a flying couch they'd never have to stop drinking beers!

So any way since that was just a couch sitting scene we now move on to the next scene, which is, you guessed it, a flying scene!


After flying around they change it up a bit and go in to a soda shop


and then they see two young girls and go and hit on them

ahh the 70's, when you could fly your skycopter around all day 
then go to a soda shop and pick up two big breasted girls!


So being the 70's they take the girls to a disco and disco dance all night long!



(I'll save you from a visual of that!)



We now head over to the villain of this movie who has found out the town our main characters live in, is on oil rich land and devises a scheme in which he hires bikers to harass the people of the town so they'll wanna sell their land to him and to avoid interference he pays off the sheriff!

The next day as the skycopter duo flies around they meet a third skycopter pilot who turns out to be a girl one of them knows, and as dialogue explaining this happens, the scene changes from landing skycopters to a river scene with the two guys naked in the water and splashing around with the clothed female!

When are those two dudes just gonna give 
up hanging out with girls and be a couple?

And its at this point the bikers make their move on the town as they start to harass people in a drive in restaurant!

They dump milk shakes on people, smash their cars, grope girls and even stealing from a Gilligan looking kid!


They even punch out the manager!

Say hello to my little ice cream cone!

They then take a girl out of her car and rip her top off exposing her bare breasts!


WHAT THE HECK!?!

I thought this was suppose to be a fun kids type movie! with cool explosions, funny costumes, cool cameos and wacky characters! Not some sexual assault filled movie!

The biker then hands the girl, with her breasts out, over to another of his men and tells him to take her around the corner and do what ever he wants with her!


And now theres implied rape?! Geepers! This is killing the fun buzz I had! 

I'm all for titties and sex but implied rape and forced nudity in a fun kids-type movie is just going to far!

How the heck does a movie with tons of sexy woman never getting naked, a cameo from the cast of Gilligan's Island, lots of fun light hearted characters and silly and goofy costumes then have forced nudity and implied rape!

Its like this movie is raping my mind!!


Then one of the big breasted girls from the soda shop scene makes an appearance as she witnesses whats going on and goes and tells the sheriff, finding him indifferent, she tells him she's going to the next town to get their sheriff and he then tries to stop her and ends up in a car chase with her that ends in her driving off a cliff! She crawls from the car before it blows up but the sheriff thinks she's still in it and is dead and he then smiles happily to himself...


I know hes being paid to let this stuff happen, but how corrupt must he be to be totally okay with killing innocent people!

This movie has taken a really dark turn!

Our skycopter trio then sees the wreck and goes to investigate, finding the girl she tells them her story as the bikers continue their siege of the town.


If only John McClane was on vacation in this town! or Paul Kersey was passing through town! they'd teach these punks a lesson! But no such luck! I guess its all up to these two skycopter flying, beer drinking, dumbasses to save the day!


So to make a long movie short, our high flying duo fly around in their skycopters, gather up some fellow fliers, make lots of bombs, then fly around town dropping bombs on the bikers (and killing them) and blowing up the sheriffs car and saving the town!

 (Wow, what a blood bath for an ending! This is quite the change of pace from the funny costumed DJs!)

... and then go disco dancing!

So that's it, its now the end!


67 comments:

  1. Lmao, now I seriously have to wonder if there's a Bersecules review I'll read and not feel like almost pissing myself in laughter, the movie being so damn ridiculous sounding really helps me along though.

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    1. I hope there never is a review that anyone reads that doesn't cause them to laught their ass off!
      Glad you liked it!

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  2. wow, that movie is terrible and all rapey.

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  3. hahahaha wow that sounds like they didn't know what the hell they were doing. Let's throw in some tits here, the Professor there, which was prob my favorite part. How did he get off the island?..lol, yeah Kersey would have showed those punks...sometimes I guess you have to get in the groove even on radio, thus the suit.

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    1. I like to think that the writer had so many good ideas and wrote a fantastic script that either the directer never finished filming or the editor just left out so many scenes!
      I liked the nudity myself but I'm a firm believer if your gonna put nudity in a movie, put a lot in and not just one out of place scene!
      I think the Professer must have actually built a skycopter out of coconuts and flown ashore!
      You might be right about getting in to the grove! I dressed up as a clown to get in the grove to post about the kids book we made!

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  4. This does NOT sound like a fun kids type movie to me. Sigh... LOL

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    1. It definitely didn't turn out to be!

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  5. Till this day I thought only repeat viewing of Hitler movies could alone worth "A clockwork orange" kind of punishment. But looks like this movie has everything to knock that off.
    How many Razzies did this movie win?
    Skycopter? Reminds me of movie we watched recently in Netflix, 2012 or something some Indie movie where NASA would be in basement of something and 4 lame people controlling everything in space. If I am still alive, thanks to comed powercut. if powercuts could save lives, I am the living proof.

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    1. I think your right it would make A Clockwork Orange a harsher movie if they added this fotage! (Though I don't actually know, I never watched the movie only read the book!)
      NASA four people in a basement? Thats quite funny! Now that sounds like a low budget movie!

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  6. That movie really did take one Hell of a dark turn. I'm almost surprised you censored the boobs though. I read all of that in your voice, which helped deal with just how bad that movie sounded in places. Like, most of it.

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    1. I wouldn't show the bare breasts cause it might get my post taken down. (I remember when the Hassidic Plumber did a racey post on Ho's that got took down faster then the last Ho on Christmas eve!) But also theirs no real reason to post the nudity for me, I have the uncensered picture and can look at it any time and I love, love!, using the Berserk Herc to censer things! (which reminds me I gotta make a copy to put on the side of my blog! My blogs looking boring!)
      I'm glad you read it in my voice, that means my mission to enter your head is starting out nicely...

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  7. I'm with you guys, it did get ultra creepy. I was loving it: couch, beer, flying - then the bikers came along and ruined all the fun. I'm amazed at how you can find these movies and even more amazed that you'll sit through them. Well, the tv stuff anyway...this was a rare treat for us, movie instead of tv. You have the best sense of humor!

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    1. I have a huge suply of old movies that I bought from thrift stores! And as for me being able to sit through them, as long as I keep my mind occupied with trying to notice all the flaws in them and making snide comments about them, I find it easy to sit through them! When my mind is awake, I'm having fun!

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  8. Where was Electric Weany during all this? He could have whipped out his weeny and sparked the fuel in the gangs' motorcycles.

    Also, did a young M. Night Shyamalan direct this movie? Because that rape scene came as a bit of a surprise.

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    1. I'm kinda bummed that Electric Weany only had one scene! It would have been a cooler movie if he had been the hero!

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  9. Seeing the proffesor reminded me of the time where I saw the Skipper on andy griffith. I about freaked out, how dare actors perform roles before they got famous!

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    1. I'm okay with them preforming roles before there famous, but how dare they continue after there famous!!
      Did you ever see the TV show Casey Jones? Its a fifties TV show about a train conductor in the 19th century played by the Skipper! (Alan Hale Jr!)

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  10. That is an even shittier copter than the one in The Road Warrior. But the Road Warrior copter had snakes as weapons

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    1. Snakes as weapons? Thats awesome! I'd like to have that kind of weapon!

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  11. I think this movie would be a lot more fun if you down a shot every time someone drinks a beer.

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    1. That would be one hell of a drinking game! Add to it "drink when ever they fly there skycopters" and it suddenly becomes deadly!

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  12. The astronaut holding the phone is my favorite part.

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    1. Its quite something thats for sure!

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  13. AHA, what a ridiculous film! Nearly spat out my cereal when I read about 'electric weenie' hehehe!

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    1. Yeah the "Electric Weany" does have that kind of power! The power to be so silly you laugh your food right out of your mouth!

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  14. This sounds like half way through the writers have written half the script, ran out of ideas between couch and flying scenes (looks at Star Wars Episodes 1,2 and 3) and decided to flash tits and imply rape just to make it memorable. I like the ending though, bombing a town to save it.

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    1. Wait, is there nudity in Star Wars Episodes 1 2 or 3?! I saw those movies (sorta once) and don't recall seeing any boobies!

      The nudity and implyed rape did make it memeral! I only reviewed it cause of that scene! Heck I only remembered the movie cause of that scene!

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  15. They had to drink so much to star in it let alone you watching it and having to drink to watch it, awful sounding and looking but there was nudity!

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    1. Ahh yes most often nudity saves the day!

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  16. It's kinda funny that I could still actually hear your voice while reading this! I also wonder how you manage to sit through these kind of shows!

    The characters seem kinda creepy! A dj in a space suit? WTF? I can almost relate to the beer guzzling sky copter pilot though...almost!

    So they were dropping bombs from their sky copters on the town they are trying to save? They are no better than the evil bikers? WTF?

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    1. I can sit through the shows cause I love noticing mistakes! So for me its not sitting through a crappy movie its me sitting and hunting for flaws! I'm a hunter!

      The characters are kind of creepy! And they don't just drink beer they DRINK BEER! There is so many scenes of their place covered in beer cans they could return the empties and buy them selves enough beer to fill a large fridge! (if they had bottle return back in the late 70's)

      Naa their bombs where small enough that they only killed the people they fell on, and most of the city was already destroyed! I skipped over it, but the bikers vandalize the town in the afternoon one day and are still at it the next day! So they town is pretty smashed up!

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  17. Looks very interesting, great review as usual!

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    1. Glad you saw it, great comment as usual!

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  18. I don't understand this movie, even after reading your post ;/

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  19. Hey..I gotta brilliant idea, Bersercules. You should have a rating system for these movies...on a scale of WTF's... Something like "on a scale of 1 to 5 WTF'S this movie gets 4 WTF's." Well, something to think about in the future perhaps. I think with this movie, one of the film makers had an astronaut suit sitting around collecting dust, so they thought they might as well use it in the movie. I imagine that thing began to really stink after awhile. How exactly would one go about cleaning an astronaut suit?? Take it to the dry cleaners??? Also, I wonder how they tricked that poor girl into agreeing to expose her boobies? I bet she got fired from her job at the IHOP when the management found out about that. That's a real shame. Oh well. I will at least give the film makers credit for making a film which exposed the greed and corruption of the oil companies. I am sure glad we dealt with that problem back in the 70's, before it became an even more serious issue... Oh wait

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    1. The rating system does sound like a good idea, but one thing I worry about is how bad movies can get!

      I use to think She-Demons and Brainiac were as bad as movies could get! And I would have rated them 8 wtf's out of 10 but then I found Cosmo Jones Crime Smasher! And it was worse! I'd wanna rate it higher then the other two! So 9 wtf's out of 10? But that sounds really high! Then I saw Devils Partner, Mesa of Lost Woman and Frankenstiens Daughter! They are worse! but there not 10s! (Blake of Scotland Yard might be though!)

      So I don't think I could rate the shows or movies in that way cause I'd wanna be persice!

      But I guess you could just count how many times I say WTF in a review!... but I never said wtf in my old movie reviews or in my written reviews... so thats a bust!

      I think you've inspired me! I'll write a post that lists all the things I've reviewed and I'll rate their WTF's!

      Girl getting fired from IHOP for showing titties in a movie? Naa this is the days before sexual harassment! The boss would probably just be all horney to see more of her tits and would threaten to fire her if he didn't get a private reanactment of the nudity scene (complete with a visual dipiction of the implyed rape scene!).

      Actually the oil companys greed was as bad back then as it is now. Its just now more people are aware of it! Thank you internet! But I agree, I like the fact the movie made them the villains!

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  20. i was like, you know, seems like a decent enough movie.
    nek minnut.
    boobies and shit everywhere.

    whaaaaaaat!?!?!

    its like there are no unexplicit movies these days! every movie has nudity, rape, sexual innuendos.. ect ect.

    i dont know if you've done this before, but i have a suggestion: you should do a review on shrek 1!! i'd bow at your feet forever if you did!

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    1. Shrek 1? But I usually review bad movies, if memory serves me well, that was a good movie! What could I say about that movie besides, cool movie!

      I guess thats my review then:

      Shrek 1 is a cool movie.

      You may start bowing now.

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    2. ohhh right, yes shrek was definately a good movie. ma baddd!

      - bows-

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    3. oh riiiiight, you only review bad movies. well in that case, -bows- :-)

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  21. Ha ha, is that the Bersercules logo on that girls boobs?Great review.

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    1. Yes it is! The Berserk Herc logo protects everyone from the titties!

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  22. lol how do u sit through these movies?

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  23. LOL!!!! Love your post!!! Thanks for the comment on my blog!!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! No problem, you blog is pretty nice!

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  24. It sounds like the kind of film that is so bad that strangely its entertaining...

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  25. Nice review as usual. Awesome job man.

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  26. This has bad 70's hair, clothes and music written all over it. It's so old that the girl hasn't had a boob job. Times were tough back then, if you had small boobs, you were stuck with small boobs. You know there's a sick, twisted part of me that wants to watch this movie as bad as it looks.

    You and I are on opposite blog schedules these days, I'm not on here much and neither are you. When I'm on, you're off. This isn't helping damp down the rumors that you and I are really the same person.

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    1. You think times where tough for woman back then? Think of the men! They had to live in a world filled with small breasted woman! Ahhhh!!

      I know how you feel, I love watching crap movies! If you find it on the internet let me know! I wanted to make a video review of it but couldn't cause I couldn't find a didgital copy!

      Either that or we are the same person and you're just saying that to throw people off! But then agian would we do that?

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  27. I'm so confused... Thought the Astronaut guy was the villain at first.

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  28. LOL laughed pretty hard at the skycopter scene. They should have really drawn it out, made it last like 20 minutes of the same exact scene so you wonder if the movie is broken or what.

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    1. Saddly I've seen movies that did just that!

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  29. I have a couple of questions for you.
    Do you actually enjoy watching these movies and tv shows? I love B movies. I think they are so bad that they magically become good. I've yet to watch the best worst movie ever made, Troll 2.
    Can you review Troll 2?

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    1. I do enjoy watching all these movies and TV shows! I enjoy it cause it exercises my brain trying to notice all the flaws! I too think they can be so bad they become good! (or Great!!)

      Worse movie ever made is Skydivers... its so boring its bad... but its funny in its boringness, but I usually watch it in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version.

      As for Troll 2, no I probably wont review it (I've never seen it either.) But I did watch a review of it by the Cinema Snob. And I don't wanna review a movie I already saw a review of.

      Heres a link to the Cinema Snobs review:

      http://thecinemasnob.com/2009/12/08/troll-2.aspx

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